Supporting a loved one with activities of daily living at home can be challenging, especially for those with memory loss. The responsibilities may feel overwhelming, but with the right strategies and mindset, you can make these daily activities more manageable and enjoyable. Our Vice President of Resident Programs and Memory Loss, Paula Harder, recommends following the four "R's" to manage your loved one's care.
Reassure Your Loved One
One of the most important aspects of caregiving is providing comfort. Start by reassuring your loved one everything is okay. This simple act can significantly calm their nerves and make them feel safe. When your loved one feels secure, they are more likely to cooperate and engage in daily activities. Sometimes, something as simple as a gentle reminder that their next step is safe offers a lot of comfort, making all the difference in their willingness to participate.
In addition to verbal reassurance, physical touch can also be very comforting. A gentle hand on their shoulder or a warm hug goes a long way in making them feel loved and secure.
Reconsider Your Requests
Before asking your loved one to do something, take a moment to reconsider your request. Think about how you would feel if someone asked you to perform the same task. This will help you approach the situation with more empathy and understanding.
When making a request, try to break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. This can make the task seem less daunting and more achievable. For example, when preparing a meal, you could set out all the ingredients and utensils in advance. Guide your loved one through each step, such as chopping vegetables, stirring the pot, and setting the table. This can make the process less overwhelming and more enjoyable.
It's also helpful to consider the timing of your request. Choose moments when your loved one is most alert and cooperative versus a more relaxing time of day such as right before a nap. This can make the process smoother and more successful.
It's also helpful to use visual aids and cues. For instance, label drawers and cabinets with pictures or words to help your loved one find what they need more easily.
Redirect Their Focus
If your loved one is reluctant to do a particular task, try redirecting their focus. Encourage them to take a break from their current activity and shift their attention to something they enjoy. This can help them relax and reset their mood.
For instance, if your loved one loves listening to music, play their favorite songs for a few minutes. Once they are more relaxed, transition back to the original task. This approach may make them more willing to cooperate and less resistant to the task at hand.
Redirection can also involve engaging them in a different activity that achieves the same goal. For example, if they are reluctant to take a bath, you could suggest a pedicure or soaking their feet in a basin of warm water.
Relax
Your demeanor and emotions can significantly impact your loved one. If you are frustrated or anxious, they will likely sense and mirror those emotions, making it harder to manage the situation. It's essential to stay calm and composed, even in challenging moments.
Take deep breaths and remind yourself that getting frustrated won't help. Instead, focus on staying patient and understanding. Your calm presence can help your loved one feel more at ease.
If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, consider taking a short break. Step away for a few minutes to collect your thoughts and regain your composure. This can help you return to the situation with a clearer mind and a more positive attitude.
In addition to the four "R's," Paula recommends the following to support your loved one with memory loss.
Encourage Independence
While it's important to provide support, it's equally important to encourage your loved one's independence. Whenever possible, allow them to perform tasks on their own, even if they take longer or it isn't done perfectly. This can boost their confidence and sense of accomplishment.
Start by identifying tasks your loved one can do with minimal assistance. Gradually increase their level of independence as they become more comfortable and capable. For example, they might be able to brush their teeth independently but need help with dressing themselves.
It's important to celebrate small victories and progress. Acknowledge their efforts and successes, no matter how minor they may seem. This positive reinforcement motivates them to keep trying and improving.
Create a Routine
Establishing a consistent daily routine provides a sense of stability and predictability for your loved one. This can reduce anxiety and make it easier for them to understand what to expect throughout the day.
Start by creating a schedule that includes essential activities such as meals, bathing, and medication. Include enjoyable activities like walks, hobbies, and social interactions. Having a balanced routine helps your loved one feel more engaged and fulfilled.
Consistency is key, so try to stick to the routine as much as possible. However, be flexible and adjust the schedule as needed based on your loved one's mood and energy levels.
Adapt the Environment
Adapting the environment to suit your loved one's needs make activities of daily living more manageable. Make sure your home is safe and accessible, with clear pathways and minimal clutter.
Consider using assistive devices and tools to aid with daily tasks. For example, grab bars in the bathroom provide support during bathing, and a shower chair make the process safer and more comfortable.
It's also important to create a calming and soothing environment. Use soft lighting, pleasant scents, and gentle music to create a relaxing atmosphere. This can help reduce anxiety and make daily tasks more enjoyable.
Engage in Meaningful Activities
Engaging your loved one in meaningful activities can enhance their quality of life and provide a sense of purpose. Choose activities that align with their interests and abilities.
For example, if your loved one enjoys gardening, involve them in planting and tending to a small garden. If they love music, play their favorite songs and encourage them to sing along or play an instrument.
Meaningful activities also include social interactions. Encourage your loved one to spend time with family and friends and attend family gatherings as much as possible.
At Commonwealth Senior Living, keeping our residents engaged is among our top priorities. At all our communities, we use AI-powered technology, TSOLife, a comprehensive communication platform that allows our Resident Programs Teams to get to know residents and their families better and customize programs, activities, events, and occasions in the community to meet their preferences.
Check Out the Activities at the Community Nearest You
Staying informed and educated about memory loss and caregiving strategies is the best way to ensure you're providing effective support. Take advantage of resources such as books, online articles, and support groups to learn more about supporting your loved one with memory loss.
Commonwealth Senior Living hosts a Virtual Caregiver Support Group on the third Monday of each month. During our meetings, attendees can ask questions, share their feelings and experiences, hear different strategies for handling difficult situations, and gain emotional and practical support.
If you are interested in attending our next Virtual Caregiver Support Group, RSVP to caregiversupport@commonwealthsl.com