For many families with aging parents, holiday visits may reveal new concerns and feelings. You may wonder, "What happens when we aren't here?" "Is Mom really safe living alone?" "Will she be able to keep up with the house?" "Should we start talking about senior living?" The guilt that may come with knowing you can't care for a loved one yourself as well as the fear and sadness they aren't doing as well as you'd hoped can be staggering. It's a good idea to start thinking about a plan for a senior living community you both feel comfortable with now, instead of waiting until it's an emergency to make a choice.
The Importance of Starting the Conversation about Senior Living Early
Many families avoid discussing senior living until it's too late. Waiting for an accident or health crisis puts everyone under stress. By starting the conversation early, you can make thoughtful, informed decisions together.
Remind your loved one you love them and are worried about their well-being. Ask what they need to happen for them to decide it's time to move. Discuss their concerns about senior living and what they would like to see in a community. This helps ensure their wishes are considered.
Overcoming the Emotional Hurdles
Broaching the topic of senior living can be emotionally charged. Your loved one may feel fearful, sad, or even angry. They might be worried about losing their independence or feel like a burden. It's important to approach the conversation with empathy and reassurance.
Start by acknowledging their feelings. Validate their concerns and share your own worries. Explain that you want to ensure they have the best quality of life possible. Use "I" statements to express your feelings, like, "I noticed you seem more tired lately, and I'm concerned."
Understanding Senior Living Options
From apartment-style suites in the city to quiet cottages in the country, there are more options and styles of living for seniors than ever before.
Independent Living communities provide social activities and amenities without the need for daily assistance. Assisted Living offers help with daily tasks like bathing and medication management while maintaining a level of independence. Memory Care neighborhoods care for those with Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia, providing specialized support and security.
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Identifying Your Loved One's Needs
Assess your loved one's needs to determine which type of senior living community is best. Consider their physical health, cognitive function, and daily living skills. Do they need help with bathing, dressing, or medication management? Are they experiencing memory loss or confusion?
To assist families with understanding their loved one's unique needs, we've partnered with Roobrik to offer an anonymous, comprehensive assessment designed specifically for this purpose. It takes around 5 minutes to complete and provides tailored recommendations for appropriate levels of care based on your responses. By answering a series of thoughtful questions about your loved one's situation, you can uncover valuable insights that will help you make informed decisions regarding their care.
Visiting Senior Living Communities
Once you have a clear understanding of your loved one's needs and preferences, start visiting senior living communities. Schedule visits to several and compare options.
Pay attention to the cleanliness, safety features, and overall atmosphere of each community. Talk to the residents and associates to get a feel for the environment. Ask about topics like emergency procedures, available activities, and amenities.
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Evaluating the Cost of Senior Living
When thinking about your loved one's financial situation, it's important to take a good look at their current assets, income sources, and any expected expenses related to long-term care. Long-term care insurance can be a lifesaver since it's made to help cover those care service costs. Additional benefits for long-term care are also available for Wartime Veterans and their spouses through the Department of Veterans Affairs and senior living providers. As part of Our Promise to Veterans, we offer a two-year Rate Lock for all Veterans and their spouses' base rate as a thank-you for their sacrifices.
To make sense of all these options, we suggest meeting with a financial advisor. At Commonwealth Senior Living, we are proud to partner with ElderLife Financial Services, a national leader in financing solutions for families looking into senior living options. With same-day decisions and funding within 48 hours in most cases, ElderLife can help individuals pay for senior care while waiting for a home to sell, finance move-in fees, or supplement monthly expenses.
Building a Support Network
Caring for an aging loved one is a journey filled with a mix of emotions and responsibilities. It's important to build a strong support network that includes family, friends, and professionals who can provide assistance and encouragement. Consider reaching out to local community resources that offer respite care or guidance.
Support groups can also be incredibly beneficial. They allow you to connect with others who truly understand the challenges you face, share valuable advice and find comfort in knowing you are not alone in this journey. Gathering diverse perspectives and support can help make the caregiving experience more manageable and fulfilling. Our Vice President of Resident Programs and Memory Care, Paula Harder, hosts a virtual caregiver support group every third Monday of the month.
If you are interested in joining our Virtual Caregiver Support group, RSVP for the next meeting today.